My wife and I have just returned from London to California after a long stay in London, Paris and Rome, as these are my real homes. I had to come to California for special Chemotherapy that my insurance for which I pay a lot, a lot of money, covers. Upon our arrival, and despite that I have an FBI clearance Card, my wife, who is Mexican with Permanent Residence was detained in a detention center at LAX.
I raised hell of course as a lawyer and a law abiding citizen, unlike our criminal gangster president-want-to-be Donald Trump. I must have talked to at least five of Trump’s Gustabos, AKA, CIS Officers. Not before long, they realized that they could not fuck with me, they released my wife and we left.
I thought about what had just happened and started thinking: Those CIS have no communication skills; they have no critical skills; they have no decent vocabulary power; their English grammar is appalling; they are not Californians; they are quite uncivilized for one like me who had just arrived from the civilized world of the west to the primitive wasteland of America.
Then I wondered, since I am also a journalist, what kind of advertisement they publish to attract these Gustavos. Then I thought of this as an example:
CIS OFFICERS NEEDED: Qualifications
- Must not have completed high school
- Must not have a vocabulary more than 2500 words
- Must pass an exam to show that the applicant has no critical thinking skills at all
- They must not be able to think, but must follow orders
- They must be racist even if they are from a non-white race
- They must pledge a pledge an allegiance to the KKK and what they stand for
- Must be active members of the NRA
- Must pretend he/she does not understand whenever a non-native speaker talks
- Must be able not to be prejudice, treat all foreigners equally with the same violence
- Must have been a drug addict, but now just a little
- Must appear mentally retarded to confuse foreigners
- Must be able to carry heavy machine guns mostly unloaded
- Must be able to hide behind the the if there is an attack and pretend to be one
- Must not communicate with the public unless is important like asking for bathroom
- Must report all incident to someone who can write.
If you think you qualify, please send your resume and documents to Homeland Security. The honorable president-want-to-be Donald Trump will approve each application personally for no one knows these qualifications better than he does.
Idea of Expatriate Writer Dr. Sabri g. Bebawi